I am going to make some entries from a book that I’m working on. The material is copyrighted. Please don’t plagiarize it.
Narcissism played a big role in my treasure hunt for the right guy. I came of age in the age of artifice and vanities. Things haven’t changed all that much over time, but at least insights and depth has expanded. Hopes and hearts were dashed over the color of a person’s eyes. We didn’t even have a language for feelings that were real. All that came later. So it only followed that to be popular, one had to be a trophy or be a trophy hunter, that is, to be or to have the best looking guy/girl as a prize possession. Qualities of caring, devotion, supportiveness, emotional communication, fidelity, being a good person, depth of soul never came into play. I collected a lot of trophies and was a trophy in return. I knew well the plentitude of emptiness.
Narcissism, the adoration of “self image” plays a huge part in today’s culture. What would life be without those Selfies? The danger of being a narcissist is that the narcissist tends to see only him or herself in the other person. That’s a strong element of projection, which is always a dangerous thing. There’s a story: After an exhausting monologue about the wonders of himself, the narcissist will say, “Let’s talk about YOU for a change. What do you think about me?!!!!”
If you find yourself with a narcissist, you’ll quickly know it for they use up all the oxygen. It’s always all about them. At best, you are simply an audience of one and a mirror for them to admire themself. My advise is hit the road and never look back for this type of relationship is never satisfying in the long run. It’s just too out of balance.
~~Paulette Frankl (c)